HOW I CONSCIOUSLY SEARCHED FOR and FOUND THE LOVE OF MY LIFE…and how you can too!

After many years of being single, I realized that I wanted and needed to find my destined beloved who would be my companion and best friend as we learned to share our lives and live in Love together.

THE DAWNING LIGHT — Daily Journal of Transformational Writing

Volume 8, issue number 966 for Sunday, May 26th, 2024

SPIRITUAL SOUP KITCHEN Section # 168 Stories by Chinmayan to nurture and nourish, inspire and uplift you on your own spiritual path

All images in this issue courtesy of Pixabay

HOW I CONSCIOUSLY SEARCHED FOR and FOUND THE LOVE OF MY LIFE and how you can too!

This story was written as a spontaneous response to a comment from one of our regular readers to a recent story.

Here is a link to that story…

And here is her comment….

“While I am grateful, regretfully, 'blue skies and sunny days' do not replace a loving companion…”

And my response…

Dear Friend…

Thank you for speaking up!

It is a beautiful thing that you want to have a loving companion!

I can hear that in your heart you long to be sharing your life with a beloved who lives, loves, cares and shares life with you.

I understand this longing very well because it has always been on of the strongest desires of my life from my teens onwards.

At some point in my very long search to manifest a relationship that would satisfy this longing, I realized that if I wanted to be with my great woman counterpart, I needed to do it consciously, wisely and on purpose.

I knew that having this intense incessant desire to have a close, loving and ever growing relationship meant that the person I was destined to be with existed, was out there for me and that i could patiently work a process that would bring us together.

I vowed that I would work this process for as long as it took for us to meet.

I focused on learning to love, respect and appreciate myself.

Loving myself brought a lot of healing, helped me become free of past failed relationships, and become self sufficient .

I was absolutely determined to meet and be with my heart’s beloved,  not from a needy, hurting space, but from a truly loving space. 

I knew I had to be secure in my own self and life first…instead of my old pattern to trying to make someone love me so i would feel loveable and worthy.  To manifest the great companion, I had to BECOME a great companion myself first.

When I consciously decided to focus on finding my beloved, it was after being in three very heartbreaking failed relationships, that had failed because of my own raging and destructive behaviors (which I am now able to take full responsibility for)…and after being alone for many lonely years.

All of those painful experiences and suffering did motivate me to work my spiritual practices and inner healing process with very high intention to release old painful emotional patterns that had caused so much suffering

I did learn to love myself, how to be loving and caring, how to be self sufficient, how to listen and communicate…

I launched my search consciously and on purpose in 2005, and worked on my search every day. 

I prayed through….

I constantly worked on healing and improving myself. 

I actually wrote clearer and clearer posts about who I am, the kind of woman I was looking for, my dreams of the life and work I wanted to offer and share…with the title “Love Is My Purpose And Guiding Light” and kept it posted in the relationship wanted section of Craigslist. 

I eventually corresponded with 400 women, went on about 100 dates, and constantly refined the posting as I went through the process.

From the outset, I dedicated myself to finding the beloved who really matched me at every level…

and I vowed to myself and God that  I would not settle for anything less than my ideal and the one that I knew the Divine intended for me to be with. 

I prayed and asked God to prevent me from being with anyone but the woman who was destined and meant to be with me. 

I learned to say no to all the relationships that were offered when I saw clearly that they were not the right person for me.

“When you settle for less than your ideal, that is all you will ever get” as my teachers had often warned.

After four years for daily working on this, I had relaxed, wasn’t pushing, was being totally accepting and simply getting on with being there for my children and living my best life.

I was ready, but not anxious. 

I was patient—I had heard from my inner guidance that the Divine was working to bring me and the beloved together, but that it could only happen in God’s timing, in the right way at the right time. 

I was prepared to wait, even if it took years.

Meanwhile I imagined what it would be like to meet and come together with my beloved. 

I visualized what she looked like, her character, her interests, even the sound of her voice. 

I kept preparing myself because I knew that our coming together would be a sudden and radical shift from being alone to being with the love of my life. 

I wanted to be ready to be the man she needed and wanted me to be to love and care for her the way that would fulfill her ideal.

And I kept praying through and asking to be brought together with her.

One evening in late summer of 2009. when I least expected it, my destined beloved emailed a short response to my  posting which included her picture and an invitation to call so we could see what was possible.  

We arranged to meet for the first time that very night in a public place…and as we were walking towards each other, I immediately recognized her and knew that she was the beloved sent by the Divine.  

We talked for hours, started working together the next morning in my company at the time, and chose to share our lives together ever since. 

She is the fulfillment of everything I had on my list, and our relationship is the vehicle for our maximum spiritual growth as the Divine intended.

We are best friends who have shared our life’s journey ever since—-but it is NOT A HAPPILY EVER AFTER story. 

We have had to work on our relationship every day since…as we both have much healing to do. 

“Real Love brings up everything unlike itself to be healed” as my teachers said, is absolutely true.

Our coming together was just the beginning of our long journey from then until where we are now. 

We have been through so many challenges and crisis points that have forced us to improve, change and grow to resolve them. 

Our relationship is a vital part of our individual spiritual paths as we are learning the lessons of how to love and care and be there for each other. 

It is advanced spiritual training that continues every day, especially now that we are working to reopen our Dharma Center and launch new programs and services and expand our publications.

The last thing I want to share here is…here are the three things that anyone who wants to have a great love relationship with their destined beloved must do:

1)CONSCIOUSLY DEVELOP A LOVE RELATIONSHIP WITH YOURSELF FIRST

Consciously develop an ever deepening love relationship with yourself first. 

It is impossible to have a great love relationship with your beloved until you have a growing real one with yourself. 

Others can only love you and you can only love them to the degree you love yourself.

2)GET CRYSTAL CLEAR ABOUT THE QUALITIES and CHARACTER of YOUR IDEAL BELOVED

Get crystal clear about the description and qualities you want, need and must have in your ideal beloved. 

Get a nice notebook that you set up as your “My Ideal Beloved and Love Relationship Workbook”. 

Start it with “My Ideal Beloved is….”

And then list everything that you want, including physical description, age, character, spirituality, work and their life, where they life etc….

and then read your list out loud to yourself at least once a day, constantly refining it as you get clearer. 

This is how you find out for yourself what you really want on every level…and how you tell the divine. 

God loves it when we know what we really want, and specifically ask for it.

3)PRAY THROUGH for DIVINE HELP and GUIDANCE

Pray through constantly to be brought together with your beloved in the right way at the right time, that you recognize each other, that you are both ready and capable of having a great love relationship, to show you what you need to do to prepare for the coming beloved AND what steps you need to take to create space for this to happen.

YOU ARE LOVEABLE and DESERVE TO BE LOVED and APPRECIATED

Dear one, you totally deserve to have all the longing for love that you have in your heart to be fulfilled!   I believe that if you are willing to do the work needed, you will be brought together with your heart’s ideal beloved…because this is how God works…

Your beloved is right now looking for you, longing to meet you and wanting to come together with you…

And my prayer for you is that it happens soon!

Calligraphy and translation by Chinmayan

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