THE GOLDEN KEY TAKEAWAYS AND LESSONS I LEARNED FROM GOING THROUGH A HURRICANE OF PAIN AFTER EYE SURGERY
Overwhelming pain put me through hell until I learned to apply the golden keys of conscious breathing, controlling my thoughts and staying in the present moment
THE DAWNING LIGHT, Volume 7, Issue Number 444
Tuesday, September 5, 2023
Spiritual Soup Kitchen Section Number 42
Photos Credit: Unsplash
Overwhelming pain took over my life for three days…until I learned to apply the golden keys of conscious breathing, controlling my thoughts, and staying present to mitigate and manage the suffering…
This is the conclusion of a three part series of stories…to get the whole story, here are the links to Part One REFLECTIONS, Part One And Part TwoREFLECTIONS, Part Two
TAKING SHELTER IN A DARKENED ROOM AS THE STORM OF PAIN OVERTOOK ME
After we got home from the surgery, I took shelter in our vast meditation hall with all the curtains drawn as the pain medication wore off and a storm of unrelenting and overwhelming pain swept over me.
Like a sailor alone on his sailboat out on the vast and open ocean in a hurricane, I worked my way through three days of pain that was far more intense than anything I have ever been through.
I was expecting some pain from the eye surgery, but it was nothing like what actually happened.
Initially, it was like having my eye stabbed with a knife over and over. I couldn’t bear even the softest light.
The pain preoccupied my attention so much that I couldn’t move or do anything but sit there and go through it.
As it began getting stronger and stronger, at first I was scared and felt utterly lost as the pain came in waves, rising to a peak of hurting, then tapering off, then rising up to an even higher peak again…just like a boat climbing up and down huge waves in a howling storm.
But even as this hurricane of pain battered me seemingly beyond any control, all my years of spiritual training and practice, of being tested by the trials and tribulations of life, gradually kicked in.
It is in overwhelming, out of our control situations like this that the true value of spiritual training and practice is seen…because there is literally nothing else that we can hold onto that is of any real help.
There were several long stretches of time when the waves of pain grew in intensity from a 7 or 8 on a scale of 1 to 10, and shot far past 10 and went way off the charts.
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THE MOST CRUCIAL LESSON
During those times I learned the most crucial of lessons—that no matter how intense the pain became, as long as I focused 100% on doing slow, deep conscious breathing, controlled my thoughts and stayed focused in that very moment only—then I can always gradually gain control and reduce the pain back down to manageable levels.
This is exactly what I did during those absolutely terrifying periods when the pain spiked and spiraled off the charts.
I KNEW THIS INNER WORK WAS THE ONLY WAY I COULD HELP MYSELF
Sometimes it took hours to reduce the pain by doing the inner work of conscious breathing, controlling my thoughts and staying absolutely present…but I knew with absolute certainty that this inner work was ultimately the only way I could really help myself.
While doing this inner work, I also applied the basic principle of prayer, which is to ask the divine for help directly, simply and fervently over and over and over from a space of calm faith. I call this practice “praying through”, which means praying through as long as it takes to get a response from the divine.
At the same time as I was doing the Dharma techniques, I was directing my thought stream in praying repeatedly for everything I needed to bring the pain under control…release from my fears, strength to endure it and greater faith that would not fade, and for perfect healing.
I know from a lifetime as a man of prayer that every overwhelming experience is a precious opportunity to develop greater faith and trust and ever closer relationship with the divine.
I learned to apply these basic Dharma practice techniques from going through several intense back attacks earlier in my life in situations in which I was alone, had no money, no possibility of getting help and had to apply them in a very practical way in order to heal and save myself.
But the levels of pain after the surgery were far more intense that what I faced in those experiences.
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THE GOLDEN KEYS TO MANAGING PAIN
I now understand that these basic Dharma practice techniques, along with all the other key Takeaways I will be sharing, are the Golden Keys To Pain Management that anyone can use in any situation.
I am grateful for the pain medications that the eye doctor gave me, for they certainly did help with cutting the pain, but they were not the key element. It was comforting to have the those little white pills to take, but without the Dharma techniques, I would have no way to use or gain control over my suffering,
I will spare you the grisly details of my three days in hell because mere words cannot describe it and the pain, fear and suffering that I went through is not the point of this story.
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THE WISE PERSON GREETS OVERWHELMING SITUATIONS AS A RARE AND PRECIOUS OPPORTUNITY TO MAKE PROGRESS ON THE SPIRITUAL PATH
As my guru Kalu Rinpoche often said “Everyone will have to go through physical, mental or emotional suffering sooner or later, but the entire purpose of the Dharma is to give you the ability to not just go through it in the best way, but to make the highest use of the experience and learn all that it has to teach you.
The true disciple sees times of change, pain and suffering as a valuable opportunity to make major progress on the path through becoming much more focused, compassionate, conscious and dedicated. If suffering is used properly, it is highly motivating and the wise disciple will turn the experience into ever deepening Dharma practice.”
All my years of training allowed me to face and make the best use of this terrible experience.
It was like being tossed into raging white-water river roaring through a narrow canyon where I was bashed against rocks and seemed to have no control, recourse or any fate other than drowning.
But today, six days after the surgery, I have passed through the threatening white water into the calm, serene waters of the gentle river of time beyond it.
Though I still have some pain and more healing to do, the hurricane has passed and I am no longer swept away by the experience but can reflect on it and write about the key lessons and takeaways.
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TEN GOLDEN ATTITUDES, LESSONS AND TAKEAWAYS TO MANAGE OVERWHELMING PAIN
Beside applying the three basic Dharma practices and activating the power of prayer… these 10 keys helped me endure and make the best use of going through days of intense pain after my surgery.
1) The Number One Key Self Empowering attitude— “I am going to learn and grow through growing through this experience. I am going to make it one of the most valuable and empowering things that have ever happened to me.”
2) I choose to have complete trust that dissolves all fears and doubts about the surgery because it was done by a highly skilled, dedicated and well-trained team that has done hundreds of successful surgeries before this one on me.
3) The surgery's purpose is to stop the deterioration of my eyes and save my sight for the long term.
4) The pain I am going through is temporary—I know its cause and I also know that that this pain and suffering will certainly pass as my eye heals.
5) How I choose to hold and respond to this experience will affect its intensity and the physical and emotional results. Holding it in a positive way, seeing it as a rare opportunity to safely go through this level of pain allows me to be detached and observe the experience as a witness rather than being swept away by it.
6) The overwhelming pain is a golden opportunity to deepen my own prayer and meditation practice—just as a good sailor becomes great by having to sail through a hurricane by tapping their very best and evolving abilities to make it through.
7) This experience is an opportunity to evolve my higher abilities—to be grateful even for this suffering, to be present and to face it when I feel I can’t and want to run away, to be more loving and caringtowards myself and others and all of life.
8) This experience is something to celebrate as a victory and embrace for all the reasons I have already shared. Celebration is a way of acknowledging how difficult, yet how special and rare coming through times of trial and testing are…to celebrate my own victory over all the fear, pain, negative thoughts and feelings which come against me and my peace of mind.
9) This experience is a precious opportunity for having a fresh and higher awareness of the power of the divine to help us through the worst of times and increase my faith..in the divine, in myself and those who are here to help me.
10) This experience is a wake up call to realizing more deeply and profoundly how precious life and the time we have left in these bodies really is. If I use this experience as the divine intends, it is the doorway to a higher, clearer, more conscious, compassionate and God connected and directed level of life.
These Golden Keys made a huge difference as I went through those three days in hell, and I know they can help you in facing and going through your own challenging times.
I still have at least three more surgeries to go through in the coming months.
I am sure there is still much more for me to learn on this adventure of healing my eyes, but you can bet that I will be applying all the Dharma practices and the Golden Keys as I go through each one of them.
If I don’t, that would be extremely foolish but pain is a great and relentless teacher and I am already fully enrolled in all its classes.
At this stage in my life, the only way I am interested in going is continuously upwards and that can only be done through learning well all the lessons that life has to teach me!
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Calligraphy by Chinmayan
Image Credit: Still Mountain Meditation Center
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