The Top 5 Regrets of The Dying: Profound Lessons You Can Use To Create A Life of Meaning and Purpose Before It’s Too Late
We know we will die someday, yet live our daily lives as if we are immortal, but the dying can teach important lessons so we don’t have regrets when our time comes.
Photo Credit: Chinmayan
This is the first in a series of stories about learning to use the fact that we will have to leave this world behind sooner or later, to empower us to create a life of meaning and purpose so when that time comes, we can greet death with a smile and depart without any regrets.
Imagine this scene for a moment…
You go in to get your annual check up with your doctor, thinking that, as usual, you are in good health with nothing to worry about.
You have always taken good care of yourself, eating well and exercising every day, avoiding all the bad habits many struggle with, from drugs, drinking or smoking.
You have finally achieved the life you always dreamed of having, with a good job, great marriage and a beautiful home.
The day after the battery of tests are done, which include X Ray scans, Ultrasound and full body image scans, you get a call from the doctor’s office requesting that you come in as soon as possible to meet with your doctor, to discuss some issues that have shown up in the tests.
You are unconcerned because your body feels good and healthy, but of course, you schedule a meeting for the next day.
As you sit in the examination room, all you can think about is the party you are going to that evening.
When the doctor does come, you notice that a nurse is with him and both have solemn looks on their faces.
He sits down across from you and pauses to look at you compassionately.
Suddenly you are alert and present, for you sense that something is very wrong.
The doctor leans closer and says “There is no way to tell you this except to be straight. Our tests turned up some things that we must have missed on previous exams because your condition was just in the beginning stages. But unfortunately, it is now clear that you have a very aggressive form of stage four cancer that is too advanced to be treated…”
In that moment, your entire focus of life shifts as you try to take in and process what he is saying to you, as your mind reels and you think “This can’t be right!”
You ask the doctor, “Are you sure? This has got to be a mistake!”
The doctor replies, “Believe me, I wish it was a mistake, but due to these test results, we find the cancer is spreading too rapidly for any treatment to be effective.”
Now, with your heart racing and your mind scrambling to make sense of it all, you ask the inevitable question, “How long do I have before it kills me?”
The doctor is uncomfortable and the nurse is looking at you with pity in her eyes,
“Well, we can’t be sure, but in similar cases, the patient rarely survives longer than six months.”
The nurse hands you a packet of information and says “If I were you, use the time you have left to put your affairs in order, sign up for hospice care and make all the necessary arrangements.”
As you get up to leave, the scope and focus of your entire life has just been dramatically and permanently shifted in the past two minutes, as you struggle to come to terms with the fact that your life is going to end much sooner than you expected.
Photo Credit: Chinmayan
I know something about the realities of the scene I have just sketched out.
Last year, due to some faulty medical equipment and misdiagnosis by an intern, I went through a few weeks of believing that I probably had the same fatal heart disease that seems to run in my family.
I was face to face with thinking my life was under active threat, like the person in this story.
In the end, my case was assigned to the best heart specialist in the rural county where we live, and, after rounds of tests of all kinds, he finally gave me a clean bill of health.
I was greatly relieved to hear him say “Its true that someday you will die, but it certainly won’t be from problems with your heart, which is in near perfect condition.”
But I still learned many lessons from going through this experience.
I realized how very precious life really is when confronted with thinking mine would be over much sooner than I had expected.
I realized I couldn’t allow anything to continue delaying me from focusing on the real work of my heart, which is and always has been to be a transformational writer and make a positive difference for others and the world through the full activation of my talents and abilities.
I realized that, however many years I may have left on earth, that there are fewer and fewer of them in front of me, while most of them have already gone and that every day that passes is one day closer to my last one.
I realized I did not want to arrive at my last day with a heart full of regrets and what ifs.
I realized that I had just been given a major wake up call and shake up that was way too powerful to ignore.
Ever since, I have been boldly and courageously moving out to fully live the life my heart has always been calling for, including dedicating myself to writing and publishing; to being more attentive and loving with my circle of beloveds; being much more focused on my spiritual practices and developing an ever deeper relationship with God.
Photo Credit: Chinmayan
My teachers would often say “Always remember that the time of death is uncertain, that you never know which will come first…tomorrow or the next world. Since nothing but the dharma is even a hair tip’s help at the time of death, practice the dharma and serve the world without delay!”
We will do a much deeper dive into this subject tomorrow, but for now here are the Top 5 Regrets of the Dying, which are distilled from interviews of hundreds of hospice patients as the most important things they wanted to warn those of us who are still living about.
The Top Five Regrets of the Dying
1) I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
2) I wish I hadn’t worked so much and so hard, and neglected important things.
3) I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
4) I wish I’d stayed in touch with friends and those I loved…and expressed my love for them.
5) I wish I’d let myself be happier, more content and appreciative of what I had.
If you appreciated this story, I would love it if you could let us know by clicking on the little heart symbol below and letting us hear your thoughts or ideas in the comments section by pressing the Comment button….Thanks!